Chapter 13 Guided Reading Changing Ways of Life

What is it about the stroke of midnight on December 31 that makes every problem and flaw you have stand out like a pimple on prom night? Who invented New Year's resolutions anyway, the Marquis de Sade? As torture goes, self-improvement is the rack and the thumbscrew all in one.

If you're like us, your list of fixes is longer than your kids' letters to Santa: lose 10 pounds, lose more than 10 pounds, flatten your belly, worry less, get along better with the family, put some meaning into your life, develop a strategy to help you remember where you parked your car—and put your keys—and be sharper at work. Worse, it's the same list you make every year. (Note to self: Add "stop procrastinating" to list.)

Don't make a list, then cross your fingers that one of these days you'll be discovered by a TV makeover crew. Here are 8 relatively painless ways to fix your life this year.

Lose 10 to 20 Pounds

Remember these words: Cut 100, burn 100. If, in the next year, you cut a meager 100 calories a day out of your diet, and burn an extra 100 calories a day through some relatively effortless activity, you can lose 10 to 20 pounds by next New Year's (and scratch this perennial resolution off your list, finally).

When researchers studied the expanding waistlines of most Americans, they discovered that on average, people gain about 2 pounds a year. "You don't realize it in a month; you don't realize it in a year; but 10 years later you say, 'Where'd these 20 pounds come from?'" says study author James O. Hill, PhD, director of the Center for Human Nutrition at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center. Using this plan, you can get rid of your 10 to 20 this year. No heroic efforts needed. Plus, some of the things you have to do, like walking the dog, will help you burn that 100 calories. Check out the chart below, and pick one food trade and one activity to do daily.

MORE: 10 Slimming Smoothie Recipes

CUT 100, BURN 100

Trade This	For This	Calories Saved	Burn 100 More Calories
1/2 cup of granola	3/4 cup of Apple Cinnamon Cheerios	114	Vacuum for 20 minutes
Grilled cheese fried in a tablespoon of margarine	Grilled cheese made with a shot of cooking spray	100	Walk (with or without the dog) for 24 minutes
Toast spread with 1 1/2 tablespoons of butter	Toast spread with a tablespoon of all-fruit jam	111	Jog in place for 11 minutes
2 1/2 oz of beef in your stir-fry	3 1/2 oz of scallops in your stir-fry	111	Swim easy laps for 13 minutes
1 slice of chocolate layer cake (1/8 cake)	1 slice of chocolate layer cake (1/16 cake)	118	Wash your car by hand for 21 minutes
5 chocolate chip cookies	2 chocolate chip cookies	96	Practice Hatha yoga for 30 minutes

Get Drum-Tight Abs

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Why is it that when you lose weight, your belly is always the last to know? Even if you're at your ideal weight, you may still need to suck in your gut to zip your jeans, especially if you've had a baby or are "of a certain age." The problem isn't fat; it's lax muscles, but don't waste your time with crunches.

Researchers at San Diego State University tested 13 tummy-targeted exercises and found two that far outperformed the traditional crunch in strengthening the ab muscles that not only keep you looking toned but also support your back. Here they are (do 10 to 12 repetitions of each, 3 times a week).

1. Bicycle Maneuver:Starting position: Lie on your back with your hands clasped behind your head, feet off the floor, and legs bent so your calves are parallel to the floor. Movement: Simultaneously lift your shoulders off the floor and twist to the left, bringing your left knee toward your right elbow, while straightening your right leg, like you're pedaling. Repeat to the other side.

2. Captain's Chair:Starting position: Sit back in a firm, armless chair. Grab the chair's edges just in front of your hips. Movement: Press your hands into the chair, pull your abs in, and draw your knees up toward your chest, keeping your lower back pressed against the chair. Hold, then slowly lower.

MORE: 6 Weird Signs You're Not Getting Enough Iron

Improve Your Memory

True story: A few years ago, a colleague was suddenly stopped one night in the parking lot by a coworker from another department whose face she knew, but whose name she didn't. "Are you the Mary Ellen Fiedler who went to Archbishop Wood High School?" the coworker asked. "Yes," she replied. "Well," her coworker said, "I'm Sue Carlton. I graduated with you in 1968." Fiedler smiled, shook the woman's hand, and pretended to remember her. But she didn't. When she got home that night, she dug out her yearbook to try to find her mystery classmate. To her chagrin, there, right above the young Sue Carlton's face—which hadn't changed much—was the cheery note written in ballpoint, "Dear Mary Ellen: Never forget the girl who sat next to you in homeroom for 4 years. Love, Sue"

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The lesson here: You only remember what's important to remember. So if you want to remember something, make it important to you. First rule: Pay attention, says Barry Gordon, MD, PhD, the author of Intelligent Memory. Make a mental note of where you put your keys (preferably on a hook designated for them), the name of the person you just met if you're going to encounter them again (like your son's math teacher, not your neighbor's second cousin from Butte whom you met at their holiday party), and where you parked your car (look for stationary landmarks, not "next to the green SUV"). "Make it a point to repeat those things to yourself," says Gordon. "This will help you force your brain to lock this information in." Yes, you will be talking to yourself, but isn't that less embarrassing than riding around for 20 minutes with mall security trying to find your car? (Try these 10 effective ways to improve your memory.)

Make Peace with Your Family

Repeat after us, "We will never be the Waltons." Your goals need to be smaller, says Leonard Felder, PhD, a Los Angeles psychologist who wrote When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People. "Don't try to be best friends" with the relatives who are driving you nuts, he says. "Your goal is to be a self-respecting adult in the face of their negativity—even when they're trying to treat you like a kid." And face it, the minute you set foot in your mother's house, don't you feel like a kid again—and not necessarily in a good way? (Try these 14 tips on reconnecting with family and friends.)

To remind yourself that you're a competent adult, bring an ally, suggests Felder. Plan to have someone else there—a spouse, a cousin, a friend who thinks you're a perfectly respectable grown-up—and rehearse ahead of time what you want your buddy to do when your family threatens to send you into a tailspin. For example, they could speak up for you; keep quiet but look into your eyes to remind you that you're a worthwhile person with a difficult family; suggest you go out for a walk or a drive. "The more clear you make yourself ahead of time," says Felder, "the more successful you will be in staying strong and not reverting back to childhood at the actual event."

Can't bring a friend? Arrange for a phone buddy. You can still be one "lifeline" phone call away from support, says Felder.

MORE: What To Do When It's Time To Break Up With A Family Member

Worry Less

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Will my daughter get into college? Is my husband losing interest in me since I gained 25 pounds? When I finally retire, will my 401(k) buy more than groceries? What countries with nuclear power really hate us?

Sound like the feedback loop in your head? Carrying a litany of worries around with you is called rumination, and women do it more than men (as many as 57% of women, compared with 47% of men). This kind of worrying can massively up your risk of heart disease. How do you make it stop?

Forget all that "set aside worry time" advice you've heard. Your problem isn't that you have too many worries; it's that you have too few strategies for dealing with them, says Edward Hallowell, MD, a psychiatrist and the coauthor of Driven to Distraction. Sit down with a sheet of paper divided into three columns, he advises. List all of your worries in the first column. In the second, write down the worst thing that can happen if what you're worried about comes true. And in the third, list three or four strategies for dealing with "the worst" and circle the one that you think you can do. Then do it.

Hire a tutor for your C student, or steer her to a junior or community college where she can improve her grades. Your indifferent guy? Maybe you need to talk. Or maybe you need to go to Weight Watchers. A financial consultant can help you get your retirement fund in good shape. An end-of-the-world conflict? There's not much one person can do, but you can always join a group working for peace. Making a plan and taking action is almost always an antidote to worry.

Add Meaning to Your Life

"When you're wondering if anyone would care if you suddenly disappeared, it's a sure sign that you need to contribute more," says psychologist Suzanne Zoglio, PhD, author of Recharge in Minutes.

So when that empty, lonely feeling insinuates itself, add meaning to your life by making a difference in someone else's. Your effort can be as simple as writing a letter to your congressional representative about an issue that matters to you, or as time intensive as delivering Meals on Wheels to shut-ins or becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister. You can have your own personal mission, too. A freelance writer we know who spends lots of time alone makes it a point to talk to as many strangers as she can when she's out and always leaves them laughing. "My goal is to brighten the corner where I am," she says.

A more meaningful life is a happier life—and a healthier one: A new study from UCLA has discovered that women who set out to lead a meaningful existence actually had higher levels of activity among the natural killer cells their immune system produced to fight cancer and other ills, compared with women who were less engaged.

MORE: 10 Things Your Breasts Say About Your Health

Get Smarter at Work

Don't you just hate it when that smarty-pants colleague of yours pops up with an innovative solution to a work problem while you're still sitting there helplessly contemplating the problem? Well, by playing a few mind games, you too can appear like an Einstein at work and everywhere else. You need to use what Gordon calls your "intelligent memory," your mind's often quicksilver ability to come up with new ideas—those great aha! moments—by making connections between the problem at hand and the facts stored in your memory.

You probably use these problem-solving smarts every day without noticing it. Have you ever used your car key to rip open a plastic-wrapped CD? You were using your intelligent memory. You knew plastic wrap was no match for a metal key, which is shaped something like a knife. You thought about the properties and features of what was handy, made the connection, and solved your problem.

That's how George de Mestral made his millions. After a walk one day, the Swiss engineer was pulling burrs out of his dog's fur and his own clothing when he wondered what made the seedpods so sticky. He found out—they were covered with hundreds of tiny hooks—and the Velcro fastener was born. How do you come up with an idea to make millions? Well, that's another story. But there are lots of fun ways to improve your thinking skills both on and off the job. Here are two that Gordon recommends:

Solve problems by using analogies.In English class, you called them similes and metaphors. One of the most common ways we make connections is to ask ourselves, when faced with a sticky problem, In my experience, what is this like? For example, your problem may be that you can't get yourself to exercise on cold mornings. What's an analogy? One might be: It's like trying to start your car on an icy day. A solution to both? Warmth. You can cover your car at night and do some warm-up exercises inside before you take your morning walk. According to Gordon, the makers of Pringles potato chips came up with their innovative idea—a way to fill a relatively small tube with a lot of chips—by noticing that it was easier to bag wet leaves because they clump tightly together so more can be pressed into a bag. They made their chips from a wet potato mixture and molded them so they would nest together like spoons in a canister.

Play the random word-chain game.When you take two seemingly unconnected words and string together thoughts that connect them, you form new ideas. One of Gordon's examples: forest-milk. His chain: forest, maple trees, spouts draining sap for syrup, cow being milked, milk. In the workplace, this process is known as brainstorming: coming up with ideas that will get you from A (your problem) to B (your desired outcome). While most of us brainstorm with others, doing it alone can be advantageous, says Gordon. Some of the best ideas spring from the silliest, he says, and if you're alone you're less likely to censor ideas that might seem "wacky" in a group.

MORE: Are You Bummed Out ... Or Depressed?

Stop Procrastinating

STING is the acronym for a nearly foolproof (and easy to remember) way to stop putting things off till tomorrow; it was developed by "recovering procrastinator" and motivational speaker Rita Emmett, author of The Procrastinator's Handbook. ("I was so good at taking breaks that I could make a 2-hour job last 14 months," she told us.) She assures us this technique works for everything except losing weight and quitting smoking. Here's how it goes:

S = Select just one thing to do.Does writing your novel come to mind? Or cleaning your junk drawer?

T = Time yourself.Find the timer in the junk drawer, and set it for 1 hour to do that one thing.

I = Ignore everything else. Disregard other stuff that needs doing, the phone call you have to make, e-mails you have to read—everything except a fire in the kitchen. "Otherwise, you'll get so sidetracked that you'll look at the clock and say, 'It's too late to even get started, so I'll do it tomorrow,'" warns Emmett. People are likely to put off a job that they think takes too long, not realizing that it only takes too long "because you start a million other things at the same time," she says. Sound like anyone you know?

N = No breaks.Well, maybe a bathroom break if it's really necessary. Breaks are the other reason the jobs you put off seem to take too much time.

G = Give yourself a reward."Something you love, like a DVD of your favorite movie," says Emmett. But don't reward yourself until the hour is up. (That's a break.)

Another good piece of advice.Do your most dreaded task first, and get it out of the way. That will cut down on dread time, which, trust us, can sometimes drag on for years. Emmett's law is: "The dread of doing a task uses more time and energy than doing the task itself." Repeat that one out loud.

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Chapter 13 Guided Reading Changing Ways of Life

Source: https://www.prevention.com/health/a20464382/how-to-change-your-life/